Permission: (noun) authorization to do something – Dictionary.com
Women are conditioned to act a certain way, be a certain way and hit certain benchmarks. have that great career, spouse, kids and spotless house.
We’re taught that we need permission to do certain things. To get the okay from someone else to do the things we want to do. That we are limited in what we can or cannot do. It starts off when we’re kids and continues through adulthood. This is especially true for busy moms like you (and me) who don’t get the time they need to relax. They have a hard time granting themselves permission.
And I know because I’ve struggled to give MYSELF permission.
Last week, I didn’t feel like writing. I was sad and had zero motivation. March 10th was my mother’s birthday. She would have been 77.
Mami left us in September 2002. My teen was a year and a half old and I was a month shy of my 25th birthday. And even though it’s been almost 17 years, I still miss her and sometimes, cry for missing her. Grief is hard. And it sucks.
I took the weekend to just be. To think of her and feel sad and be still. Gave myself permission to feel my feelings. And it felt SOOO good!
In the past, I’d have wrestled with my guilt about not writing. I’ve committed to writing a weekly blog to connect and share and inspire other busy working moms like you. And I didn’t want to let you down.
But, I had to be honest with myself. Letting myself be was what I needed most. So I gave myself permission and took the weekend off without feeling guilty. Because it was exactly what I needed. To allow myself the space to miss my mom. To feel sad because I didn’t have her. And not feel one shred of guilt about it.
“Do you really need permission? Still waiting for that invitation to your life? No one is going to give it to you…only you can do that.”
―
As busy working moms, we struggle SOOO much with guilt. Because we want to get everything done, perfectly and make everyone happy.
Guilt can feel so strong and stop us in our tracks. It can keep us from doing the things we want to do. That includes taking time for ourselves. Loving on ourselves. Because we don’t want to take any time away from our families (or work or social events). Because we don’t want anyone to be unhappy because of the choices we make. Guilt makes us miserable. Guilt stops us from giving ourselves permission.
We have to acknowledge when we need to slow down.
Give ourselves permission to take a step back. To rest. Recover. Get alone time.
Like Jennifer Ho-Dougatz notes, only you can give yourself permission. Only YOU.
This week, I challenge you to give yourself permission.
To order out instead of cooking dinner.
To take time out to declutter your mind.
To take a day off to rest (I used to love taking Wednesdays off when my kids were at school so I could do my own thing!).
To ask the spouse and kids to cook.
To read that book you’ve been meaning to read.
To find 5 minutes to do what YOU want to do.
To decline an invitation to go out especially when you’re having a bad day. (Seriously, NOTHING can be worse than to go to an event when YOU don’t want to be there.)
It’s okay to tap out. Stay home. Relax. And rest. Give yourself permission.
Do you. It’ll be the gift you give yourself.
Create, set and keep time for you everyday with my guide
“Steal Your Time Back: 6 Secrets for Busy Working Moms”
Heiddi Zalamar 