Welcome to 2019 and resolution season. It’s that wonderful time of year when you’re excited to live your best life by making big changes.
You’re psyched and ready to get the ball rolling. Except when you decide on a goal. Maybe you want to practice more self-care or you want to get fit this year. According to the Business Insider, about 80% of people give up their resolutions six weeks into the new year. That’s mid-February, people. While there are many reasons why people fail at their goals for the new year, a huge part of it is your emotional state. Say you want to 30 minutes of self-care per day. That’s a lot of time to dedicate if you don’t do anything for self-care. Something that we don’t count on is how we feel while trying to achieve our goals. Just make sure to avoid the 5 emotional traps below that can derail your New Year’s resolutions. Make it happen in 2019!
- You’re overwhelmed. Your goal is too big or you’ve got too many things you want to change. Goal-setting can be overwhelming, especially when you’re creating new routines in your life. If you make your goals too big (or too hard), you won’t do it. Keep it simple and give yourself the gift of a goal that you can accomplish over time. Choose something that you can easily add to your schedule and get done.
- You’re afraid to mess up. Fear stops more people than anything else. Guess what? You’re going to mess up. You’re not perfect and no one expects you to be. Take the pressure off. Know that you will mess up. If one thing doesn’t work, try something else. It takes time to learn something new. You’re literally building new connections in your brain when you establish new patterns, habits, routines and lifestyle changes. The saying goes – 21 days to form a habit, 90 days for a lifestyle. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
- You’re angry with yourself. You beat yourself up in the emotional butt for getting off track and you end up staying there. Rather than being negative towards yourself, just keep going. If you miss one day of your goal, get it done the next. If you forget it at 9am, do it the instant you remember it. Just do it when you can. And be kind to yourself. Say to yourself, “It’s okay. I can start over right now.”
- You’re lonely because there’s no one to cheer your on. We women, especially busy working moms, tend to do things alone because we don’t want to bug anyone. Get support. Ask a friend to be an accountability buddy. Post your goal on social media or start a small group. Consider getting a coach. Having someone to check in with regularly will motivate you even when you don’t want to keep going. If I wake up today not wanting to write, I can tell myself that my pal Pauline wants to know if I wrote in my journal today. A cheerleader will encourage you and help you stay on track much better than you would on your own.
- You’re discouraged. By focusing only on what’s going wrong, you miss out on what’s going right. I’m a big believer in celebrating small wins. Small wins matter. They positively encourage you and build momentum. Did you drink your tea away from your desk? Get a walk in today? Take a picture of a rainbow? Good for you! Give yourself a pat on the back and focus on your next self-care time. Did you write for 5 minutes? Woohoo!!! Mark it in your calendar and celebrate you! The small wins all count.
These 5 emotional traps can derail your resolutions and keep you stuck. To change your behavior, you need to change your thinking. Ensure that you hit your goals (self-care or otherwise) this year by avoiding these traps. You’ll stick to your New Year’s resolutions and meet your goals.
Happy New Year and cheers to you!
Heiddi Zalamar 