Single’s Awareness Day (February 14)

Love

Love

Single’s Awareness Day is upon us. And if you don’t know what that means – Valentine’s Day. Courtesy of a fellow people-rescuer therapist (thanks Jae!!!), I’ve learned a new way to look at an old holiday. As a single working mom, I’ve found it very difficult to go out and date. Not only do I have kiddo, I also work full-time as a child & family therapist and write on the side. So, my time is somewhat limited.
Since last September, I’ve been aware and appreciative of my singleness. Don’t get me wrong, I do feel lonely once in a while, but I’ve been extremely happy being single for the last five months. Though it’s going on three years since I’ve officially been flying solo.

In seeing how many people around me (family, friends, etc) have dating and relationship issues and the drama that goes along with that, I’ve also noticed my relief that I don’t have to worry about someone else’s feelings, thoughts, wants or needs. I am happy that I don’t need to go all out for Valentine’s Day for a partner. Kiddo, of course, but that’s the usual.

All I can say is that I am very aware of my singleness and am so glad to have it. Happy Valentine’s Day all. May you receive all the love your hearts can stand. Cheers!

photo credit: Pink Sherbet Photography via photopin cc

The Highs & Lows of Solo Parenting

Now that Mother’s Day is upon us, I’ve been thinking about my life as a single mom. For the most part, I’m happy. I’ve got a great kid who has been a blessing in my life, my education and a great home.

A couple of weeks ago, kiddo scored second honors (90 average)  at school for the first time ever. I cried, I was so happy and proud of him. Hugging him tightly I told him how much I love him and how proud I was. I also thought of all of the work it took to get him to earning second honors.

I thought of the hours of work to earn money for  tuition, uniforms, after-school. I also thought of the time and money spent on therapy, evaluations and finally medication to address his ADHD, which was severely hampering his ability to focus on his schoolwork. Even with very little support from family (who disagree with my parenting style/decisions), but great support from my friends, I kept going.

There have been many times I’ve wanted to quit, run away or stop the world from happening because things were so bad for me. And before my son, I did. I went from college to work to college to work and had no idea what I wanted to do in life. I had no direction and indeed not much love for myself.

And the voices of people who doubted me became my truth. Until kiddo showed up. I was a young mom, very naive and unprepared. And even though I was legally an adult, I was VERY immature. I’ll be the first to admit that. But, I learned. And learned and learned. I’m STILL learning. Every single day. I learned my own strength is very powerful. My love endless and boundless. And my son, precious.

One family member (an old-school person with old-school parenting ideas) told me that he wished I had kiddo later on in life. I was 22 when I found out I was pregnant. My reply: I’m glad I had kiddo when I did. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be the woman that I am today.

Here I am without a full time job, bills to pay and a child to raise – and yet, I KNOW I will be just fine. Kiddo’s being taken care of, I’ve got the resources to pay my bills (haven’t fallen behind) and I’m happy. No, life isn’t perfect, but being a mom, and now a single mom for two years, I’m happy.

Happy Mother’s Day to all you moms out there. And Happy Mother’s Day to me, because dammit! I deserve to give myself a huge pat on the back.

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